I have talked a lot about how I got pregnant with our oldest daughter when Adam and I hadn’t been dating very long and how that has affected the dynamics of our relationship over the past 8 years. I am not even close to being finished telling that story and I am planning on writing Part 6 of The Truth Is series very soon. If you haven’t read it and you are interested then you should go catch up.
It’s ok I will wait. No really go ahead….I will totally be here when you get back.
So yeah we were very young and scared and we were having a baby. Toward the end of my pregnancy my blood pressure started to rise and my doctor advised me to stop working. I was swelling and he was concerned that I might be heading into preeclampsia. About 2 weeks from my due date which was May 11th, 2001 we went in for our prenatal appointment. I was so ready to have our baby even though I had no idea what to expect.
People tell you things that you should listen closer to and you hear them, but you just can’t know how you will feel until you experience it. That day at the doctor’s office my blood pressure was dangerously high and I was so swollen that I didn’t recognize myself. So my Dr sent us home to get our stuff and told us to get to the hospital for an induction.
I won’t go into the whole birth story, but to make a long story short I was in labor for what seemed like 12 yrs and everyone thought I would NEVER dilate. But I finally did and the epidural worked so well that you could have sawed off my foot and I wouldn’t have felt it. I was so numb that the Dr had to put this suction cup thing on Addison’s head and help me get her out. It was traumatic to say the least. But finally she was here.
I had been watching TLC’s A Baby Story for weeks so I knew this was the part where the baby was supposed to cry. But she didn’t make a sound. She was limp and sort of a purplish color and I knew something was wrong. Adam’s mom immediately dropped to her knees and started praying and I was just in shock. A whole team of people came in and they were rubbing her and suctioning her. She started to wiggle around and she was trying really hard to cry. She was making these little sounds and her chest was filling up and collapsing and you could tell she was struggling to breathe.
After about 15 or 20 minutes they let me hold her for like 30 seconds. Then they whisked her away to the NICU. A few minutes later a woman came in to talk to me about Addison’s health. She was a pediatrician and she was very direct. She told me my baby was very sick but they weren’t sure what was wrong. She said she was pretty sure Addison had inhaled fluid and it had gone into her lungs. She said it could be pneumonia and that they were giving her oxygen and medicine. I asked her if she was ok and she told me simply and honestly “no”.
I remember being shocked. It was one of those moments that doesn’t feel real and you are sort of outside of yourself. The hospital where she was born has an excellent NICU and she was in really good hands. There were babies in there who were much sicker than Addison and although it was a serious situation for us I couldn’t help but feeling slightly thankful. I prayed very hard for our baby but I also prayed for the health of all of the other babies.
Looking back at the pictures I realize how rough she looked. I only remember thinking that she was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. I don’t think I will ever forget the smell of the soap that you had to wash your hands with before you could come in or the sound of all of those machines beeping.
We were young and totally unprepared, but I think the experience brought us all closer as a family. Addison coming into our lives made such a positive impact on us and changed our future forever. She made a full recovery from her traumatic beginning and after 6 days in the hospital we took her home.
And literally 5 minutes after we got home with her from the hospital she gave me another kind of shock…..
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry….so I did both.
It was just her little way of saying welcome to motherhood.
As I was walking out the door this morning to take Addison to school I couldn’t help but laugh at myself. I was carrying Alivia on my hip, my enormous purse on the other shoulder, a bottle of water in one hand and my keys in the other. Captain Retardo, aka Max our stupid dog, was trying to get out the door so he could come with us, so I was yelling at him to get back, while SkippyJon the kitten was trying to escape into the outside world through my legs. I finally managed to get Max back in the house and I was trying to deter Skippy by well….kicking at him.
Hey don’t call PETA, I love the cat that’s why I don’t want him to go outside! Anyway as I was kicking the stupid adorable kitten, my flip flop came off one of my feet and the baby slid down furthur on my hip. I dropped my keys and had to try to put my shoe back on while bending over to pick them up. I almost fell down ( baby and all) while doing all of this because the DOG IS FARKING RETARTED. Apparently he momentarily forgot that he wasn’t coming with us….again and I had yet to have one drop of coffee, so I was still a little bleary eyed.
I realized that I spend a lot of time carrying the baby and 10 other things while trying to lock and unlock doors and get animals out of the way. I have strollers and slings to help me when I am out and about, but from the house to the van it seems like I am a one woman side show balancing 16 things and a baby.
It seems like we as moms have to balance a lot these days. Whether it’s juggling children or jobs or groceries or all of the above, it’s like it’s in the job description somehow that we do EVERYTHING all at once. And that is ok with me because life would be pretty boring if I didn’t have to trip over dogs and cats and children just to get out of the house. Simple…but boring.
I am not good at the whole baby book thing. I have a bunch of scrap booking supplies, and I really want to use them.
But I haven’t.
I have such good intentions and I constantly let myself down. I pay for pictures to be made of my girls and never frame them, I buy books to paste pictures and write memories down, and I haven’t followed through with any of it. I think that is one good reason for me to have this blog. I can record some of the things that get lost in my brain and never written down.
Alivia is 10 months old as of 5:31pm today. I can’t believe how time has flown this year. And seriously ya’ll, she is such a blessing.
She changes so fast and it feels like I blink and she is doing something new. I don’t remember Addison growing up this fast! I mean we are about to buy her a big girl car seat, and she has 6 teeth. She is on the verge of walking….soooo close! It’s amazing what happens in a matter of weeks.
She is starting to say little words like mama and dada and bye bye. She can play peek-a-boo, wave and blow kisses. She sort of giggles and says “nah” when I say “do you want some milk?”. When I get the nursing pillow out and sit down she makes a sweet little giggle sound and makes a bee line right for me. And she can crawl fast! It’s pretty funny to see. I just feel so blessed to even have her because I really didn’t think I would be able to have any more children after Addison.
It is truly a miracle to be able to have these two beautiful children in my life every day. Tonight has been very special for me. I have really paid close attention to the girls and tried to be in each moment with them. Addison and I made ice cream cones and watched the Olympic Opening Ceremonies. I bathed them together and then nursed the baby while I listened to Addie play in the bathtub.
The sounds of our house are music to my ears tonight. Sometimes I get overwhelmed and I just want quiet.
But not today.
I have been enjoying them and feeling extra warm and fuzzy. I guess it’s pretty obvious!
Even now as Addison sleeps curled up with SkippyJon on the couch next to me I can’t help but notice how full my heart is.
This is my entry into a cool summer photo contest over at Five Minutes for Mom. You can enter even if you don’t have a blog! I think you can even go and vote for your favorite picture too! I had a hard time choosing a picture for the contest, but you can’t go wrong with these too little roly poly babies!
Today my cousin Gena brought her 2 adorable children Sam (5) and Evelyn (2) to my house for a few hours while she got some things done. Also my Aunt Barbara had to work today, so she brought over her granddaughter Kendra (6) right before lunch. That means, including my little Livie ( 9 months), I had 4 children under the age of six at my house for the better part of the day. Addison is still in Atlanta at Camp Yaya/Aunt April and she will be so sad when she finds out she missed out on the fun. I am so thankful that I got the chance to spend some time with them and get to know them a bit better and they are all really good kids…BUT…
Let me just say….I DO NOT know how mom’s with this many young kids get anything done around the house! How do Jon and Kate do it?!
Now, I realize that many many women do this every day and I guess that just makes me a mommy lightweight. My girls are 6 1/2 years apart, so I am just not used to trying to breastfeed a wiggly baby, while keeping up with a toddler, while helping a 5 year old get up on our “tall toilet”, while telling a 6 year old “No you CANNOT have a diet coke!”
Side note: In reference to the “tall toilet” it really is freakishly tall. I am vertically challenged and this might be TMI, but even MY feet don’t lay flat on the floor when I am well….going.
So needless to say, I didn’t get a whole lot of housework accomplished today. The dishwasher was wide open and half unloaded for hours ,while the dishes that I had taken out were all over the counter waiting for me to put them away. Not one stitch of laundry was washed or dried or folded.
But you know what? I had fun with those crazy kids today! We ate lunch on the deck
…until the flies landing on sippy cups and peanut butter sandwiches became a point of anxiety for me. I started to think back on a certain family….yes THAT family.
You may have met Mr Fly…or his brother Darryl, or his other brother Darryl.
Oh yeah you know him…he’s the one who poops and vomits every time he lands. Sooo I moved the kids back inside to the kitchen table. No one is ingesting fly poop or fly vomit on my watch.
I am dedicated to my commitment to prevent children everywhere from ingesting fecal matter….no matter how microscopic.
I had to go and face some things today. After a very hard morning, I went to hang out with my friend Aimee. The kids ran around and played and argued. The babies crawled around and pulled up on stuff and stared at each other. Aimee and I talked about some of the things that are going on in my life and we talked about nothing important at all, and we laughed so hard that my belly hurt. I really needed that. It just felt good to forget my troubles for awhile. Yesterday it was the farm and today it was Aimee’s house. I came home with a feeling of confidence and restoration. Things are crazy in my life right now, but I have such hope that it will all serve to make me stronger and wiser. I have a lot of love to give, and I am surrounded by people to lean on when I need to. But honestly I feel ok to stand on my own, because of God’s grace. I know who and what is important to me and I although I am still trying to figure out the logistics of it all, I know that now matter what happens, I will be ok.
Warning….this is a pretty long post about our cry it out experience. If you don’t give a hippo’s patootie about us finally getting Alivia to sleep through the night then this is not the particular post for you. But if you do care, then….well…Yay!
Ok ya’ll, my baby is officially sleeping through the night! I mean she is really seriously sleeping all night long and I don’t have to go in there and find her pacifier or nurse her or whatever I need to do to help her get back to sleep. I know letting babies cry it out is a very controversial subject but I generally operate under a whatever works best for you parental philosophy. I try to never judge people by their parenting style unless they are doing something like letting their children walk around Wal-Mart with no shoes on or letting their kids climb around a moving vehicle without a car seat. (read this for more on those kind of parents)
So anyway, basically if you are not doing something that will hurt, neglect or endanger your children I am cool with that, because hey, they’re not my kids. I have read some other people’s opinions about crying it out and they have some not very nice things to say about parents who choose to do so. So in my defense, I am NOT a bad parent for letting my child cry so we can all be happier.
Since our girls are 6 1/2 years apart I am sometimes surprised by how inept I feel. I mean in some ways I am more laid back and less freaked out, but I am no expert and most days I am just trying to get through the day without pulling every hair out of my head. I also am a big fan of calling the pediatrician when I am feeling unsure. I absolutely love our kid’s doctor and I feel completely comfortable calling with any questions I have. So I called our pediatrician to find out if she had a preferred method to help baby sleep through the night because I knew at 7 months old that little Miss Alivia was fully capable of not waking up 3 or 4 times to nurse or find her pacifier. She told me to get the book “Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems” by Dr. Richard Ferber. Yes… we Ferberized her ! I thought it was something that they made up in the movie Meet the Fockers. Nope it’s a real thing and we did it! It actually works, but it is slightly painful for the first couple of days.
I felt relieved that we finally had something to try. Addison was always a really good sleeper and she never cried more than 10 minutes. She also never took a pacifier because she sucked her thumb, so she could soothe herself if she woke up in the middle of the night. (On a side note, she also still sucks her thumb and we are about to have to shell out some cash to have an Orthodontist put a device in her mouth to deter her from sucking it.)
Anyway, while I was pregnant I felt very confident that we would have no trouble with Alivia sleeping through the night at around 2 or 3 months old. Well, I was horribly mistaken about that. I know I have mentioned that she was waking up around the clock and up until now I have just nursed her and put her back to bed. I was just tired of being so tired, so I was all about suffering for a few days to teach Livie how to sleep correctly.
The first step was to take away the pacifier. The book says that you must create the correct sleep associations, and using a pacifier to help her get to sleep is part of the problem. At the time I was skeptical about this and it sort of hurt my heart because Alivia just wasn’t happy. Looking back, it was a pretty smooth transition. Yes, she cried, and I followed the little chart in the book and went in at the correct intervals and assured her that I didn’t abandon her and move to Tahiti. (although sometimes that sounded like a pretty fun plan) It took about a week and a half of crying and timer setting and going in to pat her back. Each day it got easier and easier. I also bought a sound machine to create an irresistible sleep environment. So her room is now dark, cool, and sounds like it has a waterfall in it. She has done well without the pacifier and she still wakes up sometimes in the night, but she can put herself back to sleep. The best part about it is that I am no longer a talking, walking, coffee addicted zombie-mom! Yay Me!
I found this on You Tube and I thought it was so funny!
I thought it was something that they made up in the movie Meet the Fockers. Nope it’s a real thing and we did it! It actually works, but it is slightly painful for the first couple of days.
