January 15th, 2009
That is what my problem is. That is why I haven’t been here for 7 days. I have opened my blog and pushed the ‘write’ button 15 times. I have listened to music and stared at the screen. I have twittered and facebooked and read some blogs. But every time I came to write I ended up sitting here so long my fingers turned into ice and my butt felt like it was part of this ugly green corduroy chair. And then the baby would wake up and my opportunity had passed.
I have been whining and complaining about how messy our house is. I have talked a lot about getting rid of everything and starting from scratch. I have this mental image of pulling a dumpster up the the side of the house and throwing stuff into it. I am not one to hold on to junk for posterity. I regularly take van loads of toys and clothes and all sorts of stuff to the goodwill or the consignment shop. But yet we still have too. much. freakin crap.
Clutter. I despise it. It affects me on so many levels. It puts me in a bad mood. It overwhelms me to the point that I don’t know where to start to fix the problem. The clutter is real and tangible and I can see it and touch it. But it affects me physically and mentally. I don’t have the amount of energy it will take to get the house to where I want it to be.
I have excuses for that too. NEVER ending dishes, meal planning and laundry. Adam and I stay up until almost midnight every night and get up around 6:30. I have stopped exercising. Alivia is constantly moving and when she naps I get on the computer and try to write. Aaaand I am holding onto some emotional stuff that I am not sure will ever go away. So needless to say I sometimes feel like I want to run away.
But I have so many blessings here. I would come right back if I ran away.
I love them….the people here in my house.
Adam is an awesome husband and a loving daddy.
Addison has an amazingly intense personality and is one of the smartest funniest kids I know.
And that Alivia…she is happy and sassy and goofy and adorable.
So what are my options here?
I figured that out too. Get over myself and get out the trash bags. Suck it up and do my job. Yeah…I can do that. Because they deserve a mom who is not crazy, a house that is not a mess and a dinner that is not pizza.
p.s.
Happy Birthday Aunt Missy…we miss you
Love 3
Filed under Mommyville, family, life |
Well, I’m still in a decluttering mood and have run out of stuff at my house! Temporary, I’m sure. I’ll come over and help you sort your crap!
I’m thinking of the Friends episode where Monica is so excited because Rachel didn’t pack and saved it for her to do. I’m a dork.
SHE’S BACK!…and the peasants rejoiced!
I am totally with you! Let’s run away together (we’ll come back after a few hours/days, right?). We’ll sleep all day and NEVER cook or do laundry! Yeah - and we’ll only wipe our own butts and dress ourselves! We’ll hold other peoples’ babies and give them back when they cry for any reason! Oh, and we’ll be totally and perfectly healthy the whole time! No coughs, sniffles, sore throats, or tummy aches allowed!
I’ll let you know when I come up with more rules for this fantasy world. Check back with me.
I agree with you…a purge is desperately needed over here too. I’m feeling trapped by all of the confounded baby stuff piling up around here, but I can’t get rid of any of it! ACK!
I just love you. There are no words or blogs or spacesavers that take that kind of pain away.
I sympathize with you completely on the overwhelmingness of stuff. I agree that it clouds and complicates your heart and mind. Let alone the times when your heart is already broken.
Seriously, Donna and Cindy are the only reason I was able to stay strong through selling everything I owned. Otherwise, I might have just burned it all down to be done with it. I think having an impartial partner to work with really does wonders. As payment you offer to let them take what you decide to get rid of. They can ebay it, yard sale it, or dress it for their own home. There is great power in numbers. You might need two friends so someone can supervise the baby. Maybe a fourth friend can take notes for the blog entry… Maybe that’s too much.
Glad you’re back! I miss your blogs when you don’t blog. Aaaand, you know I can come help you with all of your crap. we need to get together soon anyways. That reminds me.. I have way too much crap that I need to do something with too. But I usually just bury my head in the sand when there is a “problem” and hope that it will go away, lol!
I could have written this very same exact thing! I missed your posts. And, I am going to need a LOT more trash bags.
For five seconds I looked at Mel’s comment and was like.. HOW DOES SHE KNOW MY MAIDEN NAME????????
My maiden name is sherback. ;p
Come visit my blog chicky. .i have a giveaway right up alivia’s alley. Glad you’re back, clutter and all.
d
I can so relate to your post about clutter making you feel like crap. It is ironic that we want all of this crap that we’ve collected, yet it also drives us batty. I’m on a similar mission - I’ll check back and see how it’s going - good luck!