August 14th, 2008
The first picture is of my oldest daughter Addison and my little cousin Lucas. It was taken about 5 years ago.
The next picture was taken just a few weeks ago. They are growing up together and it is so fun to watch. They fight and argue like siblings, but they love each other a lot and you can tell. Hehe you can also tell that we have a better camera now than we did 5 years ago.
Addison is 8 months older than Luke. When I was in labor with her, my dad’s baby sister ( my Aunt Missy) , came into my hospital room and whispered in my ear that she was pregnant. Even in the midst of my contractions I was so excited for her!
She was always more like my big sister than my aunt. She was almost ten years older than me and I wanted to be just like her. Back in the 80’s I would watch her do her hair and put on makeup ( blue eyeshadow was so cool!). She let me hang out in her bedroom with her while she listened to Motley Crue and Guns n Roses and Poison. Hey…it was the 80’s ya’ll. I loved to look at her prom dresses that looked like my Barbie’s dresses and wish I could be grown up just like her.
When I was older and trying to date boys and do stupid things like hang out in parking lots smoking cigarettes and sometimes worse, she tried to give me advice on how to NOT make bad decisions. Sometimes I listened…mostly I just made the mistakes anyway and had to learn the hard way. Yeah ’cause I was quick like that. But either way, she was always there for me.
She was so fun to be around and one of the most considerate people I knew. We could communicate with one another without saying a word. So when I got pregnant with Addie it was sort of weird for her because I was still so young and she was like my big sister. But then she was pregnant too with Lucas!
So we became mothers at about the same time but we were both in different stages of life. It was fun watching our children growing up together. It just made our relationship that much closer.
Everything changed last December when my Aunt Missy was taken from us. She and her son’s father were trying to settle on a custody agreement. Actually, she was trying to establish stability and consistency for her young son’s life and Luke’s father felt she was trying to take him away. ( Which she most definitely was not) He was obsessed with his son and he wasn’t going to let anyone interfere. So 10 days before Christmas, he came to her house in the middle of the night, zip tied her hands behind her back and shot her in the back of her head 4 times at point blank range. I’m sorry if that’s too graphic…but it’s what happened.
There are no words to describe how much she is missed. Our entire family dynamic has been changed. Nothing will ever be the same again. It’s very cliche to say this, but it’s the kind of thing that you hear about, but you never think it can happen to your family. Except it did happen. Not only did we all lose a wonderful person in our family, most importantly Lucas lost his mother and then his father too.
And what a mother she was! Like any mother her child was the center of her life. Every decision she made was with Luke in her mind. We will never understand why this happened. But, peace is settling itself right in a little bit more every day. Our family is strong and we trust in God.
Luke is doing well too. My grandparents are doing a good job picking up where Missy left off (although I know it is very hard for them), and we all try and spend as much time together as we can. Addie and Lucas still fight and argue and drive us crazy, but they have a special bond and I am sure it will only grow over time. We still miss her so much it hurts, and everything is different now, but life is moving right along and we are all just doing our best to go right along with it.
Filed under Fro' Me to You Thursday, family | Comments (15)
I am so incredibly sorry for this nightmare in your family. All I know is that God is faithful – oh so faithful.
Blessings . . . . .
Oh, how terrible for your family, and especially for Luke. But thank God that you all know and trust in Him, and that Luke’s grandparents have stepped in to love and care for him.
I am sorry this happened to your family.
Thanks for sharing it with us.
Words can not express how sorry I am that this happened to ya’ll. A similar thing happened to my stepfamily, only they never found out who murdered my step-cousin. But, like your family, a child was left behind.
Luke is so blessed to have ya’ll in his life. And how neat that he has your daughter to grow up with!
Ya’ll will see Missy again one day. Keep trusting…
Great photos! Great times together for the kids. My first child and 2 neices were born within 3 days of each other. They have great memories of their first few years growing and playing together!
Oh, my, what a painful and terrible tragedy your family has endured. You never know what people have faced, ya know? Thank you for sharing this because I think there will be a lot of people encouraged by your faith in God, especially in terrible circumstances.
That makes twice you’ve made me tear up at work this week!!! Good writing babe!
So sorry to hear about your loss. Sounds like she was an awesome friend to have.
I am so very sorry for your family, and my heart aches for you and for Lucas. He is a very blessed little boy to be left with a loving family. Hold him close.
The photos are just precious and your story moving. Sounds like your cousin was a wonderful person and passed on some great advice. Thanks for sharing this with us all.
May you and your family feel God’s presence as you all help raise this precious little boy!
Proverbs 3:5-6
I think that there are times when a family thinks HOW could this happen to US? I know that has been the way our family has felt (extended) in the past couple of years.
But I think that your attitude and reliance on God is key to getting through such a hard situation.
Be blessed.
Jen
I’m so sorry for your loss!
I love you!! You made me all teary eyed. I’m glad that you have the courage to share what has happened. The kiddos are so freaking cute!!
I found your blog by accident today. But I am really sorry to hear your story. This is a nightmare that no one can imagine. God can & will be glorified in man’s mistakes. Sin has such power over all of us, some more than other’s.
I pray you will heal from this and that God would refine you like gold as scripture claims.
Sweet blog, too.
I found your blog off of a blog of a blog of a blog.
My heart breaks for you and your wonderful memories of Aunt Missy at midnight on Labor Day. It is a blessing that Lucas is here to carry on her light.
Love your blog..
d