Ok now onto a serious matter…I may be mistaken but isn’t the Easter Bunny a freaking vegetarian? Actually isn’t he technically a vegan? All he eats are salads right? He absolutely adores carrots, celery, beets and lettuces.
Now I ask you….why oh WHY do we feel like it’s not Easter without a basket full of chocolate? I don’t keep chocolate in the house and my kids don’t get to eat it very often. But I went merrily into the Target near our house and filled a shopping cart with Reese cups wrapped in pastel tin foil and m&m’s that look like birds eggs ( it’s ok I got the dark chocolate kind so they’re “healthy” m&m’s)
I also bought Addison a solid chocolate bunny to put in her Easter bucket. It’s not huge but it’s nothing but a brick of chocolate molded to look like a rabbit. Because my almost 8 yr old daughter neeeeds more of a reason to act like a spaz.
Yeah she needs a solid brick of chocolate about as much as my waistline needs all of the chocolatey treats that I will be snarfing this week. Hey I only bought them in the name of tradition.
You know what would be funny? If I just decided to forgo the candy and just buy a veggie tray.
What do you think Addison would say if she came out Sunday morning only to find a veggie tray in the middle of the living room floor? Something tells me that wouldn’t go over very well.
Happy Easter! Have a beet!
I think there would be an uprising of titanic proportions.
While I was out buying Easter goodies in the form of chocolate I stopped at Lifeway and bought a couple of books, some ressurrection eggs and a lamb Webkinz. I also went to Target and got the girls some new spring pj’s and Madagascar 2.
I blame Target. With all of their cheerful spring displays and trendy items. I still maintain my theory that there is a Target conspiracy. They are taking over the world with their trendy affordable products and brilliant marketing techniques. I mean who doesn’t love a montage of household products? Target…just know this…I am onto you.
I haven’t had much to say this week. Actually that’s not really true. I have quite a lot in my head it’s just a little less than coherent. I am in a place where I am feeling irritable and busy and tired and hot and cold and hungry and fat and basically I am just a JOY to be around right now. About once a month I enter into some alternate reality where my emotional instability makes no sense to anyone and least of all myself. If I try to explain how I am feeling it just makes me sound crazy.
Yes yes I am crazy. Soooo what do we do when we are feeling crazy? We write a list of random stuff so our brain can feel better.
Oh and when I say we I mean you and me not me and me. I am not THAT crazy. Yet.
I am still expecting my monthly nemesis any day…no really? shocking isn’t it?
I feel really FAT…and I am going to an outdoor wedding this weekend….nothing to wear with pale white skin…yay.
I went to the ENT and had some horrifying stuff sprayed up my nose in order to numb my throat. THEN the Dr. stuck this long skinny thing with a light in my nose and down into my throat. It was a lovely experience.
Alivia screamed almost the entire time and clung to me through the whole procedure
I don’t know which one of us was more traumatized
Did I mention I am having intense PMS?
Max ate an entire package of Pita bread …including some of the plastic
I really wanted to make hummus and eat it with warm Pita bread for lunch but instead I spent 2.65 cents for Max to have a snack. BAH!
I could really use some chocolate but I don’t need it because see #2
There is no number 10 but since we are here what do you do when you are feeling overwhelmed and crazy? Any and all ideas would be appreciated.
into my prune juice. I will be right with you after I
change my Depends
because oops I just crapped my pants!
Ok now we can sit a spell and visit.
Now….let’s get right to it.
Which one of you did it?
Who sent my name into whomever it is that decides that you are an official old person. Is there some sort of agency that has a list of people who watch FoxNews and Bill O’Reilly?
I am only 28 people!
Can someone please explain to me why I keep getting AARP notices in the mail at least once a week? And what is up with the hearing aid advertisements? Yesterday I got an offer in the mail for some sort of program to help with my funeral expenses.
MY FUNERAL EXPENSES!!!!
I have also gotten several coupons for free lunch and learn seminars at local restaurants. Here you go Mrs. Bond have a free lunch. All you have to do is come and listen to why our hearing aid is the best out there! We will even give you a free hearing test at our auditory clinic.
What would happen if I actually showed up to one of these lunch and learn things?
I can just imagine myself strolling into the restaurant carrying Alivia in the sling.
“Oh hi ya’ll I am here for my free lunch and to learn all about your awesome hearing aids. YES I am really 75 years old. This is just my granddaughter. Yeah I just have a really good plastic surgeon. I SAID I HAVE A REALLY GOOD PLASTIC SURGEON!”
I have been on a Fiji beach getting lotion rubbed on by a guy named Horhay.
Ok no that’s a big fat lie.
Actually I was in Vancouver at a cat shaving convention. Ok no that was a lie too.
It’s just that I have been gone so long I feel I should have a great story to tell.
OH WAIT!
I doooo have a great story to tell. I went to this great blogging conference and I am going to go on and on about it…
But not right now. Because I have been gone for days and my hubby deserves my attention. So yeah I just wanted to check in and see if ya’ll were still here or if the only one left reading is my mom.
Will you guys do my GIANT ego a favor and holla at me in the comments to let me know that you are here? Yes you! Even if you have never left me a comment!
I would even love it if you email me to tell me what is the latest greatest thing going on in YOUR lives.
Because I may be self centered….but I love to hear what’s going on with my peeps! And mom that means you too!
Um Yes my mom is my peep too….in fact she is my number 1 peep! Shout out to my M-O-M!
Ok so now that I have returned…I am leaving again.
I am just sitting here wondering what in the world I could possibly write about that some other blogger hasn’t already written. Basically I want to talk to ya’ll but I have nothing of particular significance to bring to the bloggy table. Wait don’t leave just because I said that! I am still going to blather on about something.
I mean I could do a list of links to some of my best posts. I could post some pictures of my Christmas. I could complain about all the things that are irritating me. I could talk about how crazy and fun my new years eve was but Aimee kept saying “don’t blog about this!”. I must honor that request.
I could actually answer the questions ya’ll asked me like forevah ago. I could talk about new years resolutions or the lack of new years resolutions in my case. I hesitate to make one because it always becomes a joke about 3 weeks into the new year. I figure maybe if I don’t make one and I just set some realistic goals for myself that will be better.
So my immediate goal is to hurry up and eat all of the Christmas candy as fast as possible. That way it will be gone and I can get down to the business of eating healthier. Yeah that would be my first non resolution. Eat all of the chocolate in the house all at once. Check.
On a completely random and unrelated note…I wish that gnomes existed in real life because my house is a mess and it really needs help. It would be great if one of those gnomes would clean my house for me. Because right now I kind of feel like I would rather just move in to a new house and start all over than clean the one we currently own. But then when I twittered about that idea it was brought to my attention by my lovely bloggy friend that I overlooked some crucial details in the plan.
This is what I said:
“have you ever had one of those days where you want to move to a new house just to avoid cleaning the one you currently own? I am so there.”
This is what she said:
“Yeah but…do you get all new stuff when you get there? Otherwise, you would have to clean up in order to move!”
And ya’ll that was when I realized I might as well just clean the house. Because cleaning and then moving is sooooo much harder than just cleaning. And then I would have to clean that house too. Crap.
I think the crux ( yes I said crux) of the problem is that I need a vacation. A real live 7-10 day vacation that includes maids, massages and a beach preferably. With no children, my husband by my side AND lots of margaritas.
Is that selfish of me? I love my children and I would love to take a trip with them, but that would not even be relaxing. No. It would be just as stressful as being at home except way more inconvenient. Am I even making sense right now?
Don’t answer that. I have gone from non new years resolutions to gnomes and pretty soon I will be telling you all that I am considering ordering the Snuggie off of the tv. Seriously whoever came up with that idea is just a few fries short of a happy meal. No offense to anyone who actually thinks it’s a great idea. Mrs. Fussypants said it looks like a backward robe. AND when I read that I laughed out loud.
So yeah I am not going to win any awards with this post but I missed ya’ll and well this is what you got.
I am in Georgia visiting my hubby’s family (the original 007’s) and getting down to the serious business of gaining 10 lbs in 4 days. Today we have been playing baseball and Mario Kart on the Wii and Adam and I went shopping for a new Christmas tree. We went to Lowes and Home Depot but sadly they had nothing. Apparently the early bird really does get the worm for day after Christmas savings. Luckily we went to a small home and garden place down the road and we got a GREAT deal! We found a really pretty pre-lit tree for 75% off! Did you get that internets? 75% OFF! Supposedly you don’t have to “fluff” or shape this tree. It was originally crazy expensive. I don’t know many people who would pay anywhere near full price for a fake tree that you use 6 weeks out of the year.
What’s that? You want to know how much it was originally? Ok I really wanted to tell you anyway. It was 569 dollars! So with the little 75% discount we paid 142 bucks plus tax! Yeah I am the bargain hunting queen. It’s ok you can say it….you want to be me.
We are headed to my mother in law’s family Christmas celebration tonight for soup and presents and tomorrow we will be with my father in law’s side. I am looking forward to seeing everyone, listening to the kids play, the women interrupt each other and the men talk about SEC football.
I am not sure if I will have time to update again this weekend because I might be too busy eating my sister in law April’s ricotta cheese cookies, napping, and playing video games. If you don’t hear from me before Sunday I will be back to blogging next week! I hope everyone had a fabulous Christmas!
I came upstairs to write a post. I had no idea what I was aiming for, but I was just going to put on some music and let whatever flowed…flow.
Well. I came up with exactly nothing. Because I am just creative like that. I have nothing to say apparently. So I am going to do a Q and A. I have no idea if I have enough readers to even do a Q and A, but I am going to put it out there anyway. I kind of feel all exposed and insecure assuming I even have multiple readers other than my husband and my mom.
All of a sudden I feel all angst ridden and hormonal. Is there anyone out there who likes me? I mean I wasn’t a cheerleader in high school, but I was in the drama club and I had a really tight pager my senior year yo, and yeah and I could totally like drive a stick shift at 60 mph and gossip with the girls at the same time and so why wouldn’t you want to ask me a question please ask me a question. Otherwise I will monopolize our next marriage counseling session with all my insecurities because no one asked me a question on my blog!
Whew…so internets. Is there anything at all that you want to know about Mrs007? No boundaries, no stipulations. Ask me anything because I am not easily offended. If you don’t want me to know who you are just ask me anonymously. I mean people…I have a website so obviously I am pretty self involved and I like to talk about myself. Plus I get the added bonus of writing material. Since I am tapped out for the moment and you are all being forced to dying to know more, this is the perfect opportunity. It’s a win win situation!
Email me your questions at your leisure or ASAP!… whichever works best for you. smashleysmalls (at) gmail (dot) com
I have a few things stuck in my head and I keep saying them out loud and laughing like a crazy person. “Hey ya’ll !….I’m nayked! ” and ” I really had to poop a lot, so that I could be this hot “ Watch this video and you will see why it’s so funny. Oh Mad TV….why did they have to cancel you?
I have not always been interested in politics. And the only reason I started to care about the subject is because I became a parent. As the years have passed I started to realize that it really does matter.
I am not one to get into rowdy debates. I love America and I love that one of our greatest freedoms is to vote for who we as individuals support. My beliefs have become more conservative as I have gotten older, but that does not mean that I am a right wing nut. I would consider myself more of a conservative independent. But, I do not like to box myself in.
I will admit that I pay WAY too much attention to the media. I have made it no secret that I love Bill O’Reilly and that I listen to conservative talk radio. I read all sorts of articles and blogs and I am pretty informed. I primarily watch Fox news because I have found that they really are “fair and balanced”. One thing that bothers me about watching Fox…all of the ads are directed at senior citizens.
I mean really? Just how many commercials for viagra, the scooter store, glucose meters and AARP can a 27 year old woman endure on a hourly basis? Just last week I seriously received an AARP card in the mail with my name on it. Yesterday a local audiology clinic sent me an invitation to a free “lunch and learn” so I could learn about hearing aids. Ok whoa! Can a girl feel any older?
I feel like I need to just admit that I’m old and go to Walgreens and buy some adult diapers and call it a day. Because clearly I need to find a supplement card for my medicaid plan and to remember to take my monthly Boniva.
