Ok now onto a serious matter…I may be mistaken but isn’t the  Easter Bunny a freaking vegetarian?  Actually isn’t he technically a vegan?  All he eats are salads right?  He absolutely adores carrots, celery, beets and lettuces.

Now I ask you….why oh WHY do we feel like it’s not Easter without a basket full of chocolate?   I don’t keep chocolate in the house and my kids don’t get to eat it very often.  But I went merrily into the Target near our house and filled a shopping cart with Reese cups wrapped in pastel tin foil and m&m’s that look like birds eggs ( it’s ok I got the dark chocolate kind so they’re “healthy” m&m’s)

I also bought Addison a solid chocolate bunny to put in her Easter bucket.  It’s not huge but it’s nothing but a brick of chocolate molded to look like a rabbit.  Because my almost 8 yr old daughter neeeeds more of a reason to act like a spaz.

Yeah she needs a solid brick of chocolate about as much as my waistline needs all of the chocolatey treats that I will be snarfing this week. Hey I only bought them  in the name of tradition.

You know what would be funny?  If I just decided to forgo the candy and just buy a veggie tray.

What do you think Addison would say if she came out Sunday morning only to find a veggie tray in the middle of the living room floor?  Something tells me that wouldn’t go over very well.

Happy Easter!  Have a beet!

I think there would be an uprising of titanic proportions.

While I was out buying Easter goodies in the form of chocolate I stopped at Lifeway and bought a couple of  books, some ressurrection eggs and a lamb Webkinz.  I also went to Target and got the girls some new spring pj’s and Madagascar 2.

I blame Target.  With all of their cheerful spring displays and trendy items.  I still maintain my theory that there is a Target conspiracy. They are taking over the world with their trendy affordable products and brilliant marketing techniques.   I mean who doesn’t love a montage of household products? Target…just know this…I am onto you.

Do you know how hard it is to take a picture of a kite on a windy day?  The things I do in the name of blogging!

She looks like she is having fun right?

After I took this picture she handed me the kite and didn’t touch it again.

Apparently she has inherited my mom’s irrational fear of flying a kite.  Sorry to out you mom but it is too funny and I have a blog.  Gotta keep it fresh!

Alivia had fun running around even though I didn’t let her hold the kite.  I mean it might carry her off to the next town or something.

It’s hard to get good pictures of her because she is constantly in motion.

She did think the basketball made a good place to sit so I took advantage of the seconds of stillness.

Addison stole her idea and shrieking soon followed. Then a few moments of sisterly love happened.

I love these girls!

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We had about 4 inches of snow a few days ago.

Addison was at my mom’s house so I took Alivia outside and she hated every minute of it.

By the time I took her inside she was losing her mind.

So I  got her settled on the couch with a warm blanket,  her loveys and a video.

MUCH happier

I took Max outside because I wanted to snap a few pictures.

Max was ecstatic!

He ran and ran!

He is the funniest dog ever!  He is big, hairy, dopey, smelly, he brings all kinds of debris in on his fur AND after he gets a drink he drips water all over the floor and your leg.  Not to mention THEN you step in the water drips while wearing socks.

BUT

He has the sweetest brown eyes EVER!

He just lies there looking all calendar cute …

And then he pees in the pristine white snow

Thanks Max

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Apparently it doesn’t take very much to make me happy.  Clorox changed the dispenser that holds their disinfecting wipes. The old dispenser sucked!

PLUS!  The new ones are really pretty.

That is all.

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I decided that I am going to keep the Lands End giveaway open until tomorrow.

It may or may not be because I am lazy.

Actually Addison is home from school today and she is desperate for my attention. Despite the fact that we ate pancakes together earlier,  she cried to me that I am ALWAYS paying attention to the baby and I NEVER pay attention to her.  Because I don’t have enough mommy guilt already!

By the waaaay I have NO EARTHLY IDEA where she gets this dramatic flair!

I am pretty sure the woe is Addison drama queen incident had something to do with the fact that I had put her in time out for spraying detangler into the air over and over again.  I guess negative attention is better than nothing to a 7 year old.

Other than that I am having a pleasant morning how about ya’ll?

Thank you to everyone who has left me a comment so far!  I am getting awesome ideas for future posts!  So many in fact that I am having trouble sleeping because my brain is working overtime.  Take THAT writers block!  If you haven’t entered yet then shake your tail feather right on over!

Now I have to go help Addison with her science project.  It involves cookies…and I think we get to eat them when we are finished.  Darn!

Is it too late to start over?

Today I went back and read some of my older posts.  It was kind of similar to when you are going through some of your old crap and you find the diary you kept when you were 14.  Except that this is the internet and anyone can read how stupid I sound.

And unlike my teenage diary, I have never written a blog post about how my parents just don’t bleeping understand my stupid world-is-coming-to-an-end teenage drama.

One day I will have several bottles glasses of wine and post some of those diary entries or better yet some of the poetry I wrote when I was 16.

OR

You could just go to your kitchen, take out your meat hammer/tenderizer thing and bash yourself in the hand repeatedly.  Because that is what I want to do when I read my old diaries.  The problem I am having is that while my diaries and poems are hidden away at the top of my closet my blog is here on the world wide internet.

Yeah.

Plus I put it here on purpose.  Because I thought it would be fun.

Too bad I didn’t anticipate how I might feel a few months later. I guess I will just leave all of those posts alone and hope to goodness that no one ever goes back that far.  I think that is a pretty safe bet since the only comments I get on the old posts say things like “free penis pump do you want to lose eleventy hundred pounds in 6 days Acai berry extract home insurance quotes”

Wii-itis really?

We got a Wii for Christmas from my parents.  It is all kinds of awesome and we have been having a blast bowling, fishing, singing, racing and riding cows in our living room.  Then I heard about Wii-itis.  It is where people are actually injuring themselves while playing the Wii.  At first I was all yeah Wii-itis blah blah blah.  Then several things happened that have caused me to reconsider.

First:

Wii tennis and bowling make my shoulder ache.  I am reeeeally out of shape.  That is why when my mother in law asked me what I wanted for my birthday I happily asked for a Wii Fit.

Yay.  A game that informed me that I am obese.  OBESE!  What the crap?  I know I am overweight.  I know that I am short and fluffy and I could stand to lose 40 a couple pounds.  But obese?  I knew all of those ricotta cheese cookies and hot cocoa Hershey kisses were a bad idea.  The Wii FIt also makes this little sound when I step on like it is surprised by my hugeness.

“Oh” it says in it’s cute little Wii voice.  What it really means is “Ohhhh you are a BIG girl”

It even made my little Mii girl fat.  And that is just sad.  Because I had a conversation with Jill the other day and she said  “the Mii is me”.  She is so right.  it is just hard to deny Wii Mii science.

I am not really offended by my little obese Mii self.  I was just surprised to get a reality check from a video game.

B.

Adam stuck his hand in the ceiling fan.

I was in the kitchen drinking wine and sneaking hershey kisses cooking a healthy and delicious meal for my family when I heard my adorable and hunky husband make a weird sound in the living room.  When I glanced in there to see what was going on it appeared to be snowing in the house.  Only it wasn’t snow.  It was dust from our ceiling fan showering down upon Adam as he held his hand wincing in pain.  Apparently I need to dust the fan more often.  He had been doing yoga on the Wii Fit when he stuck his hand in the ceiling fan that was NOT set on low.  Not very zen is it?

According to Adam it hurts a little when you do that….and yoga sucks.

And Thirdly:

I injured my child while  trying to bowl a strike.  Last night I was Wii bowling and I hit Alivia in the pinky finger with the Wi remote.

She cried like a baby.  Wait she is a baby.  Go ahead and call Child Protective services.  I know I am going to be labeled a child abuser.  I already have a defense ready though.  It wasn’t me…it was Mii.

*updated to add that Mr.007 doesn’t like my First, B. and Thirdly sequencing.  I am not really stupid, I did it on purpose to be funny.  Evidently that was a funny FAIL.

** updated again to direct you down to Mel’s comment.  She thinks I am “Wii-tarded”  and I think she is hilarious.

For this week’s  Fro me to you I just wanted to take this opportunity to recap some pictures from the past few months.    We are NOT the people you love to hate because of our perfection.  We are just hanging in there every day trying not to run from the house screaming.  Most of the time we just have to laugh and go with the flow.  So here you go…a little taste of the madness:

Remember our stupid kitten? He is still driving us crazy daily. He is still free to a good home ;)

A collaborative effort. The dog and the cat were in on this one. Gah!

Remind me again why we have animals.

Oh that's right. I am insane.

Some days I can't catch a break

This keeps me up at night

My laundry room at it's worst. I should be more embarrassed.

I am not lazy I swear.

10 granola bar wrappers from under the couch cushion. Where else would they be?

One reason it's all worth it

and another good reason

For more Fro’ me to you fun go here

10 reasons I need a little boy:

1.  Addison wanted to know how to spell Hottie the other day

2. She actually said to me after school last week “Are you with me mom?….I said Austin put his arm around me in the hallway!”  Um yeah she is 7!   2nd grade is a little early for boys to be macking right?…whatever happened to the I hate girls/boys phase?

3.  Did I mention that Addison wanted to know how to spell Hottie the other day?

4.  I have seen every.single.episode of Hannah Montana and Wizards of Waverly place, and if I have to listen to the High School Musical soundtrack one more time I am going to gouge my eyes out!

5.  When the phone rings it is usually one of the little girls from her class wanting to trade Webkinz passwords or talk about the 2nd grade “hotties”

(P.S.  I have a story to tell about one of those phone calls)

6.  Addison asked me why her friend Caitlin wears a bra and I saw her eying the tiny little bras at Target the other day.  Um let me just say hell to the no!  She still wears days of the week and Curious George panties..I am thinking a bra is like light years  into our future….right?

7.  She is going to be asking me for a thong soon.

8.  I have to figure out a way to keep my girls away from ALL the penises.

9.  How does my child even know what the word Hottie means?  I guess the Disney channel just isn’t what it used to be.

10.  7 year old girls seem to  have PMS when they haven’t even hit puberty yet

We have only one bathroom.  It sucks.  But we live in an older home that was built in 1962. It has a certain charm, but the one bathroom part just isn’t part of the charming character.

Tonight I was peeing while my 7 year old daughter Addison was brushing her teeth.

Addie:  “Mommy why are you wearing a diaper in your panties?”

Me:  ” heehee it’s not a diaper”

Addie:  ” well it looks like a diaper what the heck is it?”

Addie again: “mommy…why is there pink on your paper towel?”

Me:  “You mean toilet paper?”

Addison : “well yeah”

Me (completely caught off guard): “well it is something that happens to grown up girls.  It’s called a period”

Addie:”….”

Me ( in my head) :  ” she thinks I am talking about a dot…she thinks I am referring to punctuation. Oh jeez”

Oh and I was right

Addie: “a period?…like at the end of a sentence?”

Me: ” it’s actually called a menstrual cycle.  It’s something God gave women so we can have babies”

Addie: “YOU”RE HAVING ANOTHER BABY?   I don’t think I can handle it!”

Seriously that’s what she said….

Me:” no I am not having another baby….not for a couple of years”

Apparently when we had Alivia, Addison’s whole world turned upside down.  And now she thinks I have punctuation in my panties.  I am probably gonna hear from the school counselor on that one.