10 reasons I need a little boy:

1.  Addison wanted to know how to spell Hottie the other day

2. She actually said to me after school last week “Are you with me mom?….I said Austin put his arm around me in the hallway!”  Um yeah she is 7!   2nd grade is a little early for boys to be macking right?…whatever happened to the I hate girls/boys phase?

3.  Did I mention that Addison wanted to know how to spell Hottie the other day?

4.  I have seen every.single.episode of Hannah Montana and Wizards of Waverly place, and if I have to listen to the High School Musical soundtrack one more time I am going to gouge my eyes out!

5.  When the phone rings it is usually one of the little girls from her class wanting to trade Webkinz passwords or talk about the 2nd grade “hotties”

(P.S.  I have a story to tell about one of those phone calls)

6.  Addison asked me why her friend Caitlin wears a bra and I saw her eying the tiny little bras at Target the other day.  Um let me just say hell to the no!  She still wears days of the week and Curious George panties..I am thinking a bra is like light years  into our future….right?

7.  She is going to be asking me for a thong soon.

8.  I have to figure out a way to keep my girls away from ALL the penises.

9.  How does my child even know what the word Hottie means?  I guess the Disney channel just isn’t what it used to be.

10.  7 year old girls seem to  have PMS when they haven’t even hit puberty yet

The dishwasher needs emptied

The dishwasher needs emptied

The dishwasher needs emptied

Go! Drive you idiot!

The cat shat on the floor

The “spill-proof” sippy cup spilled

Overtaken by Addison’s school papers and the mail

You’re hungry again?

The sun is too bright

The dishwasher needs emptied

The air is too cold

There aren’t enough minutes…in general

My right shoe is perpetually too tight

Static in my hair

The dishwasher needs emptied

You’re hungry again?

Dropped my keys like 5 times in one hour

Purse got stuck under the passenger seat….twice

The baby woke up from her nap too early and I didn’t get a shower

My hands are too dry

The dishwasher needs emptied

My lips are too chapped

Got a cardboard cut

You’re  hungry again?

Everyone is too happy.

The dishwasher needs emptied

6 loads of laundry

What do you mean you’re hungry again?

*Beth from Ruby and Roja made me a couple of really pretty buttons!  If you have a blog and you would like to participate in Make a List Monday I am working on getting a Mr.Linky so you can link up.  I will try and get on that and I will let ya’ll know so you can grab a button and start Make a list Monday-ing.

** If you don’t have a blog and you have no idea who Mr.Linky is or what the heck I am talking about….no worries.  I am just trying to let other bloggers participate in my Make a list Monday thing.

***If I start a Mr. Linky that means I have to actually be consistent with making a list every Monday.  I am slightly worried about that.

1.  Life screeches to a halt when your 12 month old/ 7 year old/ you contract an evil stomach virus.

2.  When the nurse says everyone in the house will probably get the aforementioned stomach flu.  Believe her.  Adam was the only one blessed enough not to contract the horrible nighmarish virus.  And thank the good Lord above! He must have the immune system of a gladiator.  Bless his heart though.  He hardly slept and he did such a good job taking care of his house ful’ o girls.

3.  Freakishly large piles of laundry will appear when 3 people are puking and diarrhea-ing.

4.  I turn into a worrying anxious panicking mom when my kids have even the most common of childhood illnesses.  All of a sudden I am freaking out about bacterial meningitis and the world is COMING TO AN END!

5.  Tivo is even better when you can’t get up from the couch.

6.  Adam is a really good puke cleaner upper/laundry do-er/disinfecter-er/soup cook-er/all night baby holder-er.  I added that last -er just for fun.  Filing all of that in my brain under good things to know.

7.  Alvin and the Chipmunks is a really funny movie.  We have had it for a year and I finally got to watch it while we were sick.  We brought Addie’s old twin mattress downstairs into the hallway so she could be closer to the bathroom.  Although we were both feeling pretty bad there were some really sweet moments.  In between restroom visits, I shared my love of the Pottery Barn Kids catalog with Addison as we watched movies on a portable DVD player. Good times.

8.  In the aftermath of the last week I have turned into a germ killing maniac.  I am a pretty decent housekeeper, but I have been washing everything in scalding water and I bought a 4 pack of Clorox wipes at Sam’s yesterday.

9.  My Google Reader has 233 unread items.  I am ridiculously overwhelmed!  There is no way that I can catch up at this rate so could everyone just do me a favor and STOP writing!  I don’t want to miss a thing!

10.  Number ten goes out to Jamie.  I now know first hand how good it truly is to “not smell like diarrhea anymore.”

It’s good to be back.  This week I have some things in mind to write and one of them involves an  old story about Addison, lip gloss and the dog’s butt.  Yeah…I’ll let you marinate on that for a while.

Here is a list of some things people searched for to find my blog.  It makes me want to reevaluate my content.  Nah…I am who I am I guess…saggy boobs and all.

1.  ‘How to make big boobs with pee’

I mean there are no words.  I can NOT think of a single reason that one would search for this.  But alas someone did.  And it landed them here.  Go figure.

2.  ‘Crack Barbie’

This one was on the list twice.  I think it may have something to do with this post.

3.  ‘Poopy adult diaper’

This too was on the list twice.  Once again I am at a loss to figure out why someone would search for this, but hey this is America and not much surprises me these days.

4.  ‘Idiot mom’

Yeah well I have been called worse so it doesn’t really offend that someone searched for this and found me.  Maybe I should change the blog title!

5.  ‘Butt crack’

This one is funny.  I actually have a slight aversion to butt cracks in general.  I don’t want to see it.  Nope not even yours. The only exception is the baby butt crack.  Now that’s just cute.

6.  ‘Sweaty @$$’

Yes I added the symbols to protect innocent eyes.  I don’t recall writing anything about sweaty butts, but something here flagged the internet robots.  This is another thing I am grossed out by.  Butt sweat.  I had a professor in college that had this type of sweating problem.  Ew.

7.  ‘Stupid Monkey’

Bad monkey! You are stupid.  A stupid stupid monkey!

8.  ‘Poop Stains’

well…I have kids, so poop is unavoidable.  Poop stains….yeah sometimes that too. But that is why I am the Samurai Stainfighter.

9.  ‘Whamma lamma ding dongs’

I did have a post with this title, but it was just because I couldn’t think of another one. But someone typed that into a search engine.  Weird.

10.  ‘Pink reebok high tops’

Yeah I wore them.  And I wrote about that and some other fine fashion choices I made in the 80’s. Like stirrup pants.  That was back when I said things like ” Gag me with a credit card and put me on layaway”

11. ‘ Saggy boobs’

I guess it just come with the territory.  I own it.  I am a mommy blogger and I write about breastfeeding, baby poop and saggy boobs.  It is what it is.

Reasons I am so glad I went to BlissDom08:

- It was so freakin’ sweet to get out of the house for the day and not have to cook for anyone, clean up after anyone, wipe anyone’s butt or stick my boob in anyone’s mouth. (although a few more Blisstini’s and I might have done that last thing….oh I joke!)

-I feel so blessed to have been in a room full of such talented and insightful women!  I took home SO MUCH information and I hope to become a better blogger.

-Meghan from the Velveteen Mind is hilarious!  I laughed harder than I had in a long time every time she had the microphone in her hand.

-I got to meet and listen to bloggers I read every day….like totally live and in person.  And guess what?  They are all normal people just like me.  I mean I have always known they are real and not internet droids, but sometimes it’s easy to forget that we are all just women with computers who have some really important things to say.

-The first person I was greeted by was none other than Robin at Pensieve and yes she does in fact rock.  She is not only gawgeous…but also incredibly sweet.  Oh how I wish she lived closer to me!  I would love to have coffee with her once a week.

-I shared a table with 2 beautiful ladies. Lori from Front Porch Legacy and Jamie from Blonde Mom Blog. I hope we can get together with some of the other Nashville area ladies again soon…maybe for a Nashville bloggers dinner or something like that.

-I met another secret agent!  Mishelle from Secret Agent Mama!  Found out she is an AMAZING photographer!

-One of the best things was meeting new bloggy peeps.  Such as Moriah at Please Pass the Salt, Kelly at Mrs.CPA with her beautiful baby Maddie, and Jessica at To Live Beautiful

-Two words….Swag Bags ( which included all sorts of fun goodies!)

-I learned soooo much!

-I can’t possible mention all of the superior bloggers that spoke and attended, but it flippin’ rocked to get to be there.

I want to say a gigantic THANK YOU to Epson, One2One Networkand Blissfully Domestic for a great day at The Hotel Preston in Nashville!  I can NOT wait for BlissDom 2009!

1.  Why do I bother cleaning the floors? What’s that?  You want me to elaborate? Ok.  My feet are constantly getting wet from Max dripping water on the floor.  It’s even worse when wet feet walk on tiny pieces of kitty litter on the floor.  Do you know what happens then?  The cat litter gets stuck to the bottom of my feet and then I pull each hair out of my hair one by one while Adam pours wine down my throat before I check myself into a MENTAL HEALTH FACILITY!

2.  I want a new house. One that is newer and not crooked.  One that doesn’t have stains on the ceiling of our living room from when it decided to rain in the house.  One that has an updated bathroom that actually looks clean AFTER I clean it.  One with a garage so I don’t have to fill my laundry room with stuff that should be in the garage.

3.  I need a glass of wine. I am actually doing pretty well with my 2 week break from alcohol. Although it was hard not to have a  beer or two with my hubby while we watched football this past weekend.  I also have missed having a glass or two of wine in the evenings.  It just makes the dinnertime hour a MUCH happier time.

4.  I need a glass of wine. Yeah.  I know I said that twice.

5.  I am tired of being chubby. I need new clothes.  But I don’t want to go buy anything else in a size 12.  I want to buy a new size.  A smaaaaller size.

6.  Why do we have pets? Ok.  I love animals.  But.  Why did humans domesticate wild animals so that they could live in our homes?  Yeah yeah companionship and they’re cute and all that, but they are messy….and dirty….and they smell….and crap in a box…and lick their butts…and track stuff in…and they want to eat….like every day.  Dude…they kind of suck sometimes.

7.  I am so blessed. I might complain about our pets and how I want a new house and how I am chubby and blah blah blah I need a glass of wine, but I really am aware of how blessed we are.  Crooked house with messy pets and all.

Me 10 years ago

1. Where Were You 10 Years Ago?

A senior in high school…about to turn 18 and I knew it all

2.What’s on Your To Do List Today?

my To Do list has been derailed by a sick 11 month old

3. What If you Were A Billionaire?

I would still be me….but I would be able to buy one of everything at Target!!!  and Pottery Barn

4. Five Places You have Lived?

Parent’s house… a tiny, dirty, basement apartment when I was single… then 2 rentals and then we bought my childhood home back from a friend of the family.  Now it’s my kids childhood home…slightly updated

5. Three Bad Habits?

twirling my hair, being a control freak,  and over analyzing

6. Snacks You Like?

popcorn, Reduced fat white cheddar cheez-itz, pretzels, fruit

Eight Ways To Win My Heart:

1.  Die on a cross for my sins ( I mean how can you top that?)

2.  Bring me a banana milkshake from Sonic

3.  Be Target

4.  Ask me about myself and/or leave comments on my blog( I am obviously self centered enough to have MY own blog on which I blather on and on about MY life) Just keepin it real.

5.  Give me back massage…or a foot massage… any kind of massage really

6.  Cook dinner and clean the kitchen after

7.  Tell me how flippin’ good my pound cake is and ask me to make it for every occasion

8.  Be the husband and father I am so proud of!  Oh I know it’s cheesy…blah blah blah

1. Where is your cell phone?

I have no idea…it could be in my purse, or in the fridge, it could be in the toy basket, or even the diaper genie.  If you try to call me and I don’t answer, don’t be mad…just know that I NEVER know where my cell phone is.

2. Your hair?

needs to be blonder…is that a word?

3. Your eyes?

have seen it all

4. Your brother?

lives next door….is a great cook…has a garden…needs a girlfriend who isn’t psycho.

5. Your sister?

does my sister in law count? cuz  I didn’t get one of those…

6. Your favorite thing?

how can I choose?  Breathing I guess….Right?

7. Your dream last night?

it’s been too long and I can’t remember details now

8. Your favorite beverage?

diet Pepsi on the rocks with a lime

9. Your dream/goal?

Wow.  I want my family to follow Jesus

10. The room you’re in?

bonus room/office/playroom/too much @#$%

11. Your Ex?

is a daddy now…I hope he worked on his anger issues

12. Your fear?

things I can’t control

13. Where do you want to be in 10 years?

married to Adam raising our family ( hopefully the girls plus a little boy too?)

14. Where were you last night?

Hanging out at home having a party…lots of friends…wine…homemade pizza and babies!!!

15. What you’re not?

a pushover

16. Muffins?

Banana please

17. One of your wish list items?

the perfect pair of jeans

18. Where you grew up?

Murfreesboro,TN ….anytown USA…pretty boring

19. The last thing you did?

put clean sheets on the bed…I can’t wait to get in

20. What are you wearing?

jeans… really cute black Georgia t-shirt

21. Your TV?

is BRAND NEW…so excited   beautiful

22. Your pets?

are messy and although I love them….I hate cleaning up crap in a box and having our bread eaten by the stupid dog

23. Your computer?

is good, but  I want a laptop

24. Your life?

wonderful….complicated…unexpected…sweet

25. Your mood?

borderline delirious…I also feel a little dirty….the shower and bed are in my near future

26. Missing someone?

yeah I kinda miss my husband….but he’s downstairs on the couch, so I guess I could start a google chat with him

27. Your car?

Honda.Odyssey.Magic.Love

28. Something you’re not wearing?

socks…I hate socks

29. Favorite Place?

beach by FAR!

30. Your summer?

not enough pool action

31. Your favorite color?

red

32. Last time you laughed?

Mad TV

33. Last time you cried?

at church last Sunday

34. Two Words to Describe your day?

relaxed…GAFOOTBALLBABY

1.  Thank you for giving birth to me, and for being so involved in my kid’s lives….and thank you for trying to help me find out where the smell was coming from. Thank goodness for baking soda and fresh lemons!

2.  Thank you for choosing to love me…I have seen God working in your heart and it is beautiful…I love you fiercely!

3.  You are my sister and I wish we lived closer…thank you for loving my girls and I can’t wait for you to make me an Auntie someday.

4.  When I am 88 I hope I am as beautiful and as amazing as you are.

5.  I am so glad we met!  You are my best friend and I know God put us in each other’s lives for a special reason.  I am so sorry again that I forgot to call you on your birthday….I suck sometimes.

6.  I miss you so much and I still fight to urge to call you all the time.  I know you are watching over us and smiling….and probably laughing when we do stupid stuff.

7.  You aren’t who I thought you were.  I have forgiven you, but the pain and the shock of it all is still raw.  I miss your kids and I think your husband is a saint.

8.  Thank you so much for helping us during the hardest times.  Thank you for never judging us and for loving us like your children. I know you would deny it, but I believe you are an angel on earth.  God is truly working through you.

9.  I will never understand why you did what you did.  I hope you regret what has landed you in prison until you turn 89.  I hope you die in there.  I am still working on forgiving you, but I know that if God can forgive you, then so can I….eventually.

10. Oh Jesus.  It is beyond all words and understanding that You are who You are.  My love for You comes from pure faith and I have been changed by Your Grace.  I truly believe.