Today is our beautiful Addison’s birthday.  We have an 8 year old!

It just seems like 5 minutes ago that she looked like this

And then she looked like this…

she keeps growing…

growing…

and growing…

I  know it’s a cliche but I  honestly can’t believe how fast the years have passed.  Adam and I started out as parents at such a young age.  We have practically become grown ups while trying to learn how to be parents.  I think we are doing a pretty good job. We are raising an amazing and dynamic girl.

She doesn’t like us to call her a little girl anymore.  She wants to be older than she is but she doesn’t realize how short her childhood will be.  I want her to stay as young and innocent as possible.

She surprises me all the time.  She knows more than I think she knows.  She is beginning to understand things better when I explain them to her.

Adam and I read Bible stories to her at bedtime.  One  particular night Adam was out of town so she wanted to read to me.  She blew me away.  She read smoothly and added dramatic inflection at all the right parts.

She is goofy and silly and she loves to sing.

Addison is a genuinely caring person.  She loves animals so much she sees them as our equals.

Addison was an only child and grandchild for 6 1/2 years.  When Alivia was born I worried she would be jealous.  Although Addie still requires a lot of attention she has been an awesome big sister.  She tells me how much she loves Alivia all the time.  I can’t even tell you how full that makes my heart feel.

Addison has a heart for the Lord and I pray as she grows her faith will grow along with her.

Her favorite bible verse :

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding

Proverbs 3:5

Favorite bible story:

The Parable of the Good Samaritan

Addie is a good Samaritan. At 8 yrs old her spirit is sweet, her heart is kind and she has her whole life ahead of her.  I can only imagine who she will become.  Until then…she is ours to love and ours to guide.  I thank God for blessing us with her life.  It has changed us forever and for the better.

Happy Birthday Addison Makenze.  Mommy and Daddy love you!

I sat down to write my Wordless Wednesday post.  Then I realized I have stuff to say.  And stuff to say means words to type and well that’s not really cohesive with the whole Wordless Wednesday vibe.

The oo7’s have been busy lately.  In the past couple of months we have gone to GA twice, survived a tornado, watched Charlie Daniels play ‘The Devil Went Down to GA” at our church’s Easter celebration, had an argument about pizza on the hippie bus at Mellow Mushroom and Alivia turned 18 months old.  Whew!

I have several half written blog posts in my draft folder and I have been trying to figure out why I haven’t been posting very many blogs.  Then BAM it all made sense to me.

Did I mention Alivia is 18 months old?

Yeah 18 months is the best age ever.  I seriously LOVE it!  Addison hasn’t been that age in oh let’s see 6 1/2 years so I kind of forgot how time consuming babies are at this age.  Wonderful and hilarious and enchanting and adorable but time consuming none-the-less.

She naps really well for me but to be perfectly candid while she is sleeping I am usually sleeping, showering, twittering, cleaning, folding laundry or shuffling around the house trying to decide where to start.

So that is my story…Livie is a busybody and I am too busy trying to keep up with life that I haven’t had too much time to write about it.

Last weekend we went to the American Girl Store and Bistro in GA to celebrate Addison’s birthday  a little early.  Like a good mommy blogger I took lots of pictures and I have even started writing a post about it.

BUT…I also bought myself something a couple weeks ago and I am just about to start it.  Like as in as soon as I finish writing this post.

I am nervous about sharing it because then I will actually feel like I have to follow through. UGH  Accountability can SUCK IT!

So yeah I am a big fat fatty and I need to lose weight in the worst way.  It’s time for me to do something serious and I think this is a good start.  I will let ya’ll know how it’s going.

Ok so now I think you are all caught up…did I forget anything?

Do you know how hard it is to take a picture of a kite on a windy day?  The things I do in the name of blogging!

She looks like she is having fun right?

After I took this picture she handed me the kite and didn’t touch it again.

Apparently she has inherited my mom’s irrational fear of flying a kite.  Sorry to out you mom but it is too funny and I have a blog.  Gotta keep it fresh!

Alivia had fun running around even though I didn’t let her hold the kite.  I mean it might carry her off to the next town or something.

It’s hard to get good pictures of her because she is constantly in motion.

She did think the basketball made a good place to sit so I took advantage of the seconds of stillness.

Addison stole her idea and shrieking soon followed. Then a few moments of sisterly love happened.

I love these girls!

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We had about 4 inches of snow a few days ago.

Addison was at my mom’s house so I took Alivia outside and she hated every minute of it.

By the time I took her inside she was losing her mind.

So I  got her settled on the couch with a warm blanket,  her loveys and a video.

MUCH happier

I took Max outside because I wanted to snap a few pictures.

Max was ecstatic!

He ran and ran!

He is the funniest dog ever!  He is big, hairy, dopey, smelly, he brings all kinds of debris in on his fur AND after he gets a drink he drips water all over the floor and your leg.  Not to mention THEN you step in the water drips while wearing socks.

BUT

He has the sweetest brown eyes EVER!

He just lies there looking all calendar cute …

And then he pees in the pristine white snow

Thanks Max

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Apprehension

ok THAT was fun!

Tears of frustration

Perseverance

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I have talked a lot about how I got pregnant with our oldest daughter when Adam and I hadn’t been dating very long and how that has affected the dynamics of our relationship over the past 8 years.  I am not even close to being finished telling that story and I am planning on writing Part 6 of  The Truth Is series very soon.  If you haven’t read it and you are interested then you should go catch up.

It’s ok I will wait.  No really go ahead….I will totally be here when you get back.

So yeah we were very young and scared and we were having a baby.  Toward the end of my pregnancy my blood pressure started to rise and my doctor advised me to stop working.  I was swelling and he was concerned that I might be heading into preeclampsia.  About 2 weeks from my due date which was May 11th, 2001 we went in for our prenatal appointment.  I was so ready to have our baby even though I had no idea what to expect.

People tell you things that you should listen closer to and you hear them, but you just can’t know how you will feel until you experience it.  That day at the doctor’s office my blood pressure was dangerously high and I was so swollen that I didn’t recognize myself.  So my Dr sent us home to get our stuff and told us to get to the hospital for an induction.

I won’t go into the whole birth story, but to make a long story short I was in labor for what seemed like 12 yrs and everyone thought I would NEVER dilate.  But I finally did and the epidural worked so well that you could have sawed off my foot and I wouldn’t have felt it.  I was so numb that the Dr had to put this suction cup thing on Addison’s head and help me get her out.  It was traumatic to say the least.  But finally she was here.

I had been watching TLC’s A Baby Story for weeks so I knew this was the part where the baby was supposed to cry.  But she didn’t make a sound.  She was limp and sort of a purplish color and I knew something was wrong.  Adam’s mom immediately dropped to her knees and started praying and I was just in shock.  A whole team of people came in and they were rubbing her and suctioning her.  She started to wiggle around and she was trying really hard to cry.  She was making these little sounds and her chest was filling up and collapsing and you could tell she was struggling to breathe.

After about 15 or 20 minutes they let me hold her for like 30 seconds.  Then they whisked her away to the NICU.  A few minutes later a woman came in to talk to me about Addison’s health.  She was a pediatrician  and she was very direct.  She told me my baby was very sick but they weren’t sure what was wrong.  She said she was pretty sure Addison had inhaled fluid and it had gone into her lungs.  She said it could be pneumonia and that they were giving her oxygen and medicine.  I asked her if she was ok and she told me simply and honestly “no”.

I remember being shocked.   It was one of those moments that doesn’t feel real and you are sort of outside of yourself.  The hospital where she was born has an excellent NICU and she was in really good hands.  There were babies in there who were much sicker than Addison and although it was a serious situation for us I couldn’t help but feeling slightly thankful.  I prayed very hard for our baby but I also prayed for the health of all of the other babies.

Looking back at the pictures I realize how rough she looked.  I only remember thinking that she was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen.  I don’t think I will ever forget the smell of the soap that you had to wash your hands with before you could come in or the sound of all of those machines beeping.

We were young and totally unprepared, but I think the experience brought us all closer as a family.  Addison coming into our lives made such a positive impact on us and changed our future forever.  She made a full recovery from her traumatic beginning and after 6 days in the hospital we took her home.

And literally 5 minutes after we got home with her from the hospital she gave me another kind of shock…..

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry….so I did both.

It was just her little way of saying welcome to motherhood.

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Alivia “helping” me dust

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I grew up in that house.

It was the first house my parents bought.  They were in their late twenties just like Adam and I are now.  I was 6 when we moved in.  We lived there for 6 short years, but it seemed like my whole childhood.

When I was 12 or 13 my dad began to sell real estate.   So my parents decided to sell the house and move to the farm where my Grandmother lives until we could build a new house.

Usually that is where the story ends.  You move out of a house and that’s it.  But not with us.

My parents sold the house to some friends of theirs.  Their friends were a young couple and they were just starting their family.  They lived there for several years but they ended up moving out and the house became a rental.

When I got my license I would go out of my way to drive past the house really slow just to remember.  I stalked this house.  I loved it.  I had such happy memories and I told my parents that one day I wanted to live there again. Over the years I kind of forgot about that dream.  It didn’t go away, it just faded.  You know… real life kind of got in the way.  I got knocked grew up and had a little family of my own.

Fast forward to 2003.  We were renting a house not far from my beloved childhood home.  I remember sitting on the front porch with Adam one early summer  night.  I was dreaming of our future home and I just knew it was out there somewhere.  It was weird to think that at that moment, someone was living in the house that would be ours someday.

Actually, they were moving out.  They hadn’t paid their rent in a few months and they packed it all up and left in the middle of the night.  My dad’s friend was ready to sell.

All it took was one phone call from my dad and my dream about living in that house came flooding back with full clarity.  I told Adam about it and he was unsure.  We weren’t quite ready to buy a house yet.  How would we afford it?  We had student loans and a 4 year old in Montessori preschool.

And we hadn’t even been inside the house yet.  I couldn’t wait to see it.  I was ridiculously eager to get inside and see if it looked like I remembered.

I didn’t expect it to be so bad.  The renters had left a lot of stuff.  A bunch of nasty junk really.  It was filthy and the appliances were like 30 years old or maybe even older.  The counter tops were horrible and the wallpaper even worse.  It was a hot mess ya’ll.  My hopes were dashed for a bit, but I could see the potential.  I only wish we had taken before pictures because  we decided to take on the project and bought the house!

We had new counter tops put in, had a new pantry built and bought new cabinet handles and appliances.  We had the wood floors redone and we ripped down the ugly wallpaper.  We pulled up carpet and we painted A LOT.  My parents and my brother helped us get the house in MUCH better shape.

I was pregnant with Alivia in the picture above.  It was Easter 2007 before church and Addison was less than thrilled about having her picture taken.

Easter 2008…at least Addison was smiling!  Even with Alivia pulling a big chunk of her hair out!

A rare TN snow day

As much as I love this house I am ready for a newer one.   A house with more than one bathroom and level floors that don’t creak so loud that it wakes the baby up when we go into the hallway.

But for now it’s our “Crooked House” and as long as the rest of the 007’s are here I am happy with that.

That is what my problem is.  That is why I haven’t been here for 7 days.  I have opened my blog and pushed the ‘write’ button 15 times.  I have listened to music and stared at the screen.  I have twittered and facebooked and read some blogs.  But every time I came to write I ended up sitting here so long my fingers turned into ice and my butt felt like it was part of this ugly green corduroy chair.   And then the baby would wake up and my opportunity had passed.

I have been whining and complaining about how messy our house is.   I have talked a lot about getting rid of everything and starting from scratch. I have this mental image of pulling a dumpster up the the side of the house and throwing stuff into it.  I am not one to hold on to junk for posterity.  I regularly take van loads of toys and clothes and all sorts of stuff to the goodwill or the consignment shop.  But yet we still have too. much. freakin crap.

Clutter.  I despise it.  It affects me on so many levels.  It puts me in a bad mood.  It overwhelms me to the point that I don’t know where to start to fix the problem.  The clutter is real and tangible and I can see it and touch it.  But it affects me physically and mentally.  I don’t have the amount of energy it will take to get the house to where I want it to be.

I have excuses for that too. NEVER ending dishes, meal planning and laundry. Adam and I stay up until almost midnight every night and get up around 6:30.  I have stopped exercising.  Alivia is constantly moving and when she naps I get on the computer and try to write. Aaaand I am holding onto some emotional stuff that I am not sure will ever go away.  So needless to say I sometimes feel like I want to run away.

But I have so many blessings here.  I would come right back if I ran away.

I love them….the people here in my house.

Adam is an awesome husband and a loving daddy.

Addison has an amazingly intense personality and is one of the smartest funniest kids I know.

And that Alivia…she is happy and sassy and goofy and adorable.

So what are my options here?

I figured that out too.  Get over myself and get out the trash bags.  Suck it up and do my job.  Yeah…I can do that.  Because they deserve a mom who is not crazy, a house that is not a mess and a dinner that is not pizza.

p.s.

Happy Birthday Aunt Missy…we miss you

Love 3