: one who manages a household especially as a wife and mother
“One who manages a household especially as a wife and mother”
It sounds so simple. One little sentence that is a very accurate assessment of what a homemaker does. We manage our households.
Sure it’s about menu planning and grocery shopping and the basic stuff like cooking, cleaning the house and taking care of the kids. It is about getting my hands dirty and making sure everyone is fed, bathed and clothed.
But it is also about a feeling I am trying to create. I think it’s a feeling I had as a child.
It’s a feeling of comfort and contentment and a coziness that is hard to describe. It’s pancakes on Saturday morning and piling in mom and dad’s bed on Sunday morning. It’s decorating for Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving and all the holidays throughout the year.
It’s about reading the same book 11 times in a row, making blanket forts and drinking sixty cups of delicious imaginary tea.
I really think about how I want my girls to remember their childhood home. I am sure they will remember me telling them to clean up their rooms or to stop screaming RIGHT THIS MINUTE before I PULL THIS VAN OVER! But mostly I hope they remember that their home was warm and fun and sometimes really LOUD but they always felt loved there.
Because if home is nothing else at all it’s a place where you should always feel loved. And pancakes… there should definitely be pancakes.
This post is a part of a blog carnival hosted by my lovely friend Elizabeth. The idea was to write about home. You should click hereand go read some of the other posts.
When I was a teenager creativity flowed freely. I wrote constantly. I found a bunch of that stuff when we moved and it is BAD. HORRIBLE. EMBARRASSING. I didn’t get rid of it…but it will never see the light of day.
WHY was I so angsty? I was a middle class white girl in the suburbs. I had nothing to be sad about. But I wrote these dark, discontented poems. Did I mention they were HORRIBLE? And I would spend hours on them. I would hand write and edit them…and then type them out in different fonts on the computer. Sometimes I would add clip art pictures. CLIP ART PICTURES! Then I would print them out. What the freaking crap? Oh it’s just soooo embarrassing!
I would NOT go back to being a teenager if you paid me a million bucks. No thank you on the clusterfook of emotions and feelings and drama.
Regardless of how bad my writing was I never had a lack of inspiration. I guess my hormonal teenage mind was a pool of ideas. I don’t know when I stopped writing but I did…for a long time.
And then when Alivia was a baby I started again. And after I started my blog it was like a couldn’t stop the ideas from coming. I dreamed in blog posts…I kept a notebook by my side so I could jot down ideas as I had them. I wrote almost every day. I would get up from bed at night to write. I would stay up into the wee morning hours to write.
And now?
…yeah obviously I haven’t been writing. I am not really sure how to rationalize the lack of creativity I have been feeling. I am definitely busy with life but that never stopped me before. A rut maybe? I can’t really pinpoint the problem. I still love the release I get when I write. I still get inspired and think “wow I should really write that down”.
And you know what? My lack of writing is not for lack of material. I would love to write about SO many things. However the things I would benefit most from writing about and the things that would probably be the most fun to read about are a bit too private for the internet. Even for me. Come to think about it the only way I would ever even write about those things on paper would be if I could author an anonymous book. And even then I am sure people would find out. (Maybe I should buy a diary with a lock on it like I had when I was 15.)
So basically all of the deep dark juiciest material is just stuck in my brain with no hope of ever coming out.
Maybe that is what the problem is. Maybe I am too bogged down with all of that stuff and it’s blocking everything else? Who knows…but I am still here and maybe I will get my creativity back soon.
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