I was sitting on the couch talking with Adam. He spotted something shiny under my butt. Yeah. I was suspicious of that excuse too.
But no he really did see something gleaming under the couch cushion. We pulled it out only to discover that there were more shiny wrappers. 9 more to be exact.
I am just starting to question their practicality. Should I have bought them in brown? I also bought a blue shirt with pink pinstripes that I could wear with them. I thought that maybe they could go with brown or black. I guess I just need some reassurance that I will actually wear them. I paid 19.99 for them so I think that’s a pretty good price for a shoe that is only occasionally worn.
Yesterday when I picked Addison up from school she jumped into the van as usual. She threw her wet backpack ( a water bottle leaked all over the place) up in the front seat and when I asked her how her day was she said “good”. I asked her what she did, and she said “can you put my songs on?”.
She is all about the details.
I noticed that she also had a plastic container with what looked like an orange inside.
When we got home I had to nurse Alivia, so I let Addison have a break and a snack before homework. For the record, homework time is not my favorite time of day. While I have the UTMOST respect for the people who are….I am not a teacher or a homeschooler for a good reason. My patience level is questionable and on a bad day I have made many a flustered phone call to my mother ( she has a teaching degree).
But yesterday we had no worksheets to complete and we had no math problems to work on. Nope. We had a tangerine in a box. I LOVE it!
Addison loved it too. She predicted that there would be 2 seeds.
There were 58.
She did a better job predicting how many sections the tangerine would have. She predicted 12 sections….there were 13.
What a fun project. And then she got to eat her own homework! I think that was her favorite part.
2. Where is your significant other? well…he is supposedly working. But I just called his desk and he didn’t answer. He’s probably goofing off with his boss.
3. Your hair color? dark blond with heavy blond highlights….this month
4. Your mother? raised two kids…worked full time…went back to college…volunteered at the Red Cross…and still cooked dinner almost every night.
5. Your father? loves his granddaughters…looks like Billy Joel…is a kick @$$ real estate agent…still athletic at almost 50…and my friends think he’s hot. Sorry to embarrass you Dad ( if you’re reading this)
6. Your favorite thing? well, if we are talking about favorite objects…I would have to say our van. Or our Tivo
7. Your dream last night? something about an elephant in the desert…and Ben Affleck too. We watched the Discovery Channel and then I caught the tail end of Bounce. I have to say….Ben’s not bad dream fodder
8. Your dream/goal? whoa…I can’t think about my hopes and dreams while I am still drinking my morning coffee
9. The room you’re in? has green glitter all over the floor
10. Your hobby? the internet yo
11. Your fear? my kids not loving Jesus
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? I will be 34…I hope to be in a new house and a mom of 3 kids…our 2 girls and a little boy who is just a twinkle in my eye today.
13. Where were you last night? after I picked Addie up from choir…I was at home doing Sunday night stuff…and then later, there were elephants and Ben Affleck
14. What you’re not? taking advantage of Alivia’s nap time
15. One of your wish-list items? bewbies that don’t point south…just sayin’
16. Where you grew up? in this very house
17. The last thing you did? wrote a blog about nothing….what I do best
18. What are you wearing? my mom’s shirt that I don’t want to give back and black pj pants
19. Your TV?
20. Your pets? Max the mentally challenged Goldendoodle…Jack the tough as nails ‘hood cat…SkippyJon Jones the half grown kitten who drives me insane
21. Your computer? a Dell that does it’s job
22. Your mood? good…I need to get some things done though, so I guess I am procrastinating a bit
23. Missing someone? yes, but I will see her again someday
24. Your car? is a van named Magic…we have a bond like no other vehicle in my past
25. Something you’re not wearing? earrings…what did you think I was gonna say?
1. Why do I bother cleaning the floors? What’s that? You want me to elaborate? Ok. My feet are constantly getting wet from Max dripping water on the floor. It’s even worse when wet feet walk on tiny pieces of kitty litter on the floor. Do you know what happens then? The cat litter gets stuck to the bottom of my feet and then I pull each hair out of my hair one by one while Adam pours wine down my throat before I check myself into a MENTAL HEALTH FACILITY!
2. I want a new house. One that is newer and not crooked. One that doesn’t have stains on the ceiling of our living room from when it decided to rain in the house. One that has an updated bathroom that actually looks clean AFTER I clean it. One with a garage so I don’t have to fill my laundry room with stuff that should be in the garage.
3. I need a glass of wine. I am actually doing pretty well with my 2 week break from alcohol. Although it was hard not to have a beer or two with my hubby while we watched football this past weekend. I also have missed having a glass or two of wine in the evenings. It just makes the dinnertime hour a MUCH happier time.
4. I need a glass of wine. Yeah. I know I said that twice.
5. I am tired of being chubby. I need new clothes. But I don’t want to go buy anything else in a size 12. I want to buy a new size. A smaaaaller size.
6. Why do we have pets? Ok. I love animals. But. Why did humans domesticate wild animals so that they could live in our homes? Yeah yeah companionship and they’re cute and all that, but they are messy….and dirty….and they smell….and crap in a box…and lick their butts…and track stuff in…and they want to eat….like every day. Dude…they kind of suck sometimes.
7. I am so blessed. I might complain about our pets and howI want a new house and how I am chubby and blah blah blah I need a glass of wine, but I really am aware of how blessed we are. Crooked house with messy pets and all.
What tha crap? Read this article and then go have some dinner! Retch! That oughta deter one from smoking no? Thank you Fox News.
What’s going on with me you ask? Well:
-I have laundry piled up to my ears
-I have been dizzy all day ( is that weird?)
-Addison has a horrible flesh eating skin disease impetigo and the Dr advised that she stay home today. We have actually had a fun day.
-Adam’s good work insurance doesn’t take affect until Nov 1st and our temporary insurance doesn’t cover $h*t.
-Adam and I are leaving in an hour to go on a date and although I am soooo excited, I am having a fat day have nothing to wear and did I mention I am dizzy yo?
-the kitten has FLEAS! We have treated him twice with Frontline and I am highly irritated that it hasn’t worked!
-Adam probably would be irritated that I said that last thing about the fleas, but um well it’s my blog. Just sayin’
-I am so hoping to get a seat at this blogging conference! I am supah excited about the fact that it’s in Nashville!
-So yeah. I haven’t had wine all week. But all in all I have a pretty good attitude about everything.
I hope ya’ll have a fabulous weekend! oh and….GO DAWGS!
I am just not feeling myself. Where normally there is a constant sense of peace, lately I have been feeling quite the opposite. Instead of counting my blessings I have been focusing on the negatives. I have this unfamiliar feeling that I have been trying to push out, but it is nagging me. Persistent. Uncomfortable.
And the thing is…I am so very aware of what I need to do to rid myself of this feeling. I am not praying enough. I have been giving in to self pity and allowing myself to go to the dark places.
It’s ridiculous really. Things are going better than they ever have been. Adam and I are communicating and happy, our children are thriving and we seem to be on the right track. We are wonderfully blessed people.
Then why have I been feeling overwhelmed, anxious and even bitter? That is just not me. I am hopeful, joyful and an eternal optimist. It is really hard for me to put all of this out here. I think it’s because I want to think of myself only in terms of my best. It is painful for me to admit that sometimes I feel out of control. If our house gets a little messy it makes it even worse. It’ s like if I can keep things clean and uncluttered, then I can maintain sanity. And the past week I haven’t managed to do either without a significant amount of extra effort.
Everything seems to bother me. The news is driving me crazy. I want to be aware of what is going on in the world, so I watch it…too much I think. But even my favorite cable news channel is making me want to just turn it off and not pay attention. Another thing…I don’t want to do housework. Our pets are disgusting me and I want to go just one day without having to clean cat crap out of a box and vacuum kitty litter off of the floor so we don’t get it stuck to the bottom of our bare feet. I want to run away from the never ending laundry and the perpetual dishes from 3 meals a day every day. I want to not worry about what Livie is eating off of the carpet and hoping it’s not something horrid that Max tracked in from outside. I want to tear apart our bathroom and start from scratch because it seems like no matter what I do it is NEVER really clean.
So, instead of allowing myself to dig a deeper hole, I have decided to grab myself by the front of my shirt and do something about it. I have a little plan in my head that I hope will help drag me out of whatever slump/funk/craziness I have gotten myself into. I am only writing this on the blog because I am hoping it will hold me accountable. Here is the plan…
I have decided to try and refrain from drinking alcohol for 2 weeks. And after that I am going to try to limit myself to weekends only. I forgot and had a glass of Merlot with dinner on Monday night, but I didn’t have any tonight and yeah wish me luck on this part of my plan ya’ll.
Also I am going to start exercising again. I have walked on the treadmill for two days in a row for about 40-45 minutes and I feel encouraged that I can keep it up. I have been feeling extra hungry but I think it’s because I am still breastfeeding and it is just going to take my body some time to adjust. I actually enjoy working out and I need to lose like 35 lbs. Maybe 40. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves though.
The most important part of this plan is the spiritual part. I am faced with a choice. I can grow and stretch and get even closer to God….OR….I can try to work on all of this alone. Without Him. Yeah, I am pretty sure I am going to ask for His help and accept this challenge. I feel like this is a test. It’s like God is encouraging me grow up a little…..again. I am just experiencing a few growing pains. So for all of the believers out there…please say a little prayer for me today. I was so hesitant to write this post. I was in bed and my head was just so full. I turned over to go to sleep and I then I just had to get up. I guess I just needed a little perspective. It’s all become a little more clear with every paragraph.
Maybe I am all over the place and no one will understand. Maybe some of you will think I am losing my mind for real this time. I am going to click publish and go with it. I feel better already.
